Q&A: Love at First Sight

Q: I am looking for a marriage match and have dated many women. Yesterday, I met a nice, beautiful woman. From the moment I saw her, I felt she was the right match for me and I can even say that I am in love. Is it possible to know from the start that she is my soul mate?

A: Love at first sight can come from the imaginative powers of the evil inclination, the 'animal soul.' Before one has rectified his imagination, it is generally false, and a sense of attraction to the body rather than to soul.

When one is married and living according to the Torah's mitzvot, which includes constant work on improving and deepening the relationship between husband and wife, all thoughts of love at first sight become irrelevant.

There is no greater Divine Providence and fulfillment of God's will than marriage, and thus, as is written in "Ethics of our Fathers," 'Nullify your own will in the face of His (God's) will." Get to know this woman and see if you share the same Torah values and goals in life. This is a much better way to choose a marriage partner.

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